


I Think I

by getyouwhateverthepayne



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Drabble, M/M, this is procrastination at its finest, truly
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-15
Updated: 2014-01-15
Packaged: 2018-01-08 21:26:26
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 519
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1137563
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/getyouwhateverthepayne/pseuds/getyouwhateverthepayne
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>From the perspective of either Niall or Harry...I haven't entirely decided. No plot, other than he misses him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Think I

I’d sometimes walk down the street with you, and you’d tell me you were waiting for a bus. Any bus, going anywhere, and you were waiting for the time when you would finally gather enough courage to just --

Inside my head, I gasped.

\-- Jump on it, and go somewhere.

You always did that. End sentences like that. I think that’s one of the things I might miss about you.

Sometimes, back when we shared that dinky box of an apartment, I’d be channel surfing and contemplating what exactly was wrong with my life, how it could be that I had so much to do and so little motivation to do it, when you’d come and grab the remote from my hands and pull at my arms and force me to go do something, come on. 

I’d say that all I wanted to do was you. And it was a joke, but maybe, after our third month living together, not completely. You’d laugh loudly every time, and I wouldn’t be able to keep a straight face, and you’d forget I said it. We'd start talking about something else. Always something else.

Disappointment crawls inside you and stays there like a heavy weight for a long time. It disguises itself. It keeps your eyes down.

So that when you told me you wanted to travel with me, I didn’t look up to see your sincerity turn into a frown when I shook my head and said vaguely, “Maybe one day.”

But one day has come, and passed, and I’m still here. You aren't, anymore.

I don’t know where you went. You used to tell me. Well.

You used to answer your phone, always on the second ring, because you told me once that you didn’t like sounding too eager so you waited. 

You didn’t use to forget to call back though. I think that’s another thing I might miss.

Sometimes I’ll look out at the weather or see something in a store and it will remind me of you. When I look outside and it’s just the right amount of cloud cover, expansive and covering everything and not that terrible kind where the sun still comes through a little bit. That would always frustrate you -- make up your mind, you'd shout listlessly at the sky, when the clouds thinned just enough for a ray of sun to filter through. Sometimes I thought you said that only to make me smile. 

And sometimes, on the bad days, when I’m in a clothes store and I’m only seeing the kinds of clothes you would never wear, you're the only thing I'm thinking of.

Because even the negative spaces are the unfilled imprint of you.

You’d tell me to cheer up, if you were here. You’d grab my arms and pull me up and out of my stagnancy and tell me to go do something, come on. You were good at that. No one had ever done that before you.

But now you’re not here, and I don’t think I can do this by myself. I think I miss you. 

Actually, I think I 


End file.
